Friday, September 23, 2005

Resume

You may have seen this floating around the internet. Maybe not. EIther way, it is both humerous and telling in light of the many people who lie on their resumes. This is an actual job application a 17-year-old boy submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida. They hired him because he was so honest and funny. Enjoy some humor on this Friday.

JOB APPLICATION
NAME : Greg Bulmash

SEX : Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION : Company's President or Vice President. But seriously whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY : $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION : Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD : Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY : Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT : My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING : It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK : Any.

PREFERRED HOURS : 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS : Yes, but they're better suited to more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER : If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS : Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR : I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION : I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE : On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS : Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE : Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE : Aries.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Unfettered - Francis of Assisi

I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” John 10:10

From the USA Today:
“Todd Marinovich was born on the Fourth of July and programmed to be a great quarterback. His father Marv, a former Oakland Raiders offensive lineman and assistant coach, drilled him from infancy with NFL stardom as the goal. For a while, Todd responded. The 1987 All-USA Offensive Player of the Year racked up a national-record 9,194 passing yards High School. His decision to play college ball at Southern California was preordained: his dad was co-captain of USC's 1962 national champion.

Marinovich led the Trojans to the Rose Bowl as a redshirt freshman, but by his sophomore year, there were bugs in the program. The young man who never had touched a Big Mac or watched cartoons was arrested on drug charges and suspended from the team twice. Marv Marinovich said at the time that his son's problems were just part of growing up and "Todd will come back with a vengeance."

Marinovich would have many downfalls and attempted comebacks in the ensuing years. He left USC, entered the 1991 NFL draft and was a first-round pick of the Raiders. He signed a $2.27 million, three-year contract, became a starter in his rookie year and played in one postseason game. His continuing drug problems ended his NFL career the next season. He has since bounced around the Canadian Football League and, most recently, the Arena League. He spent 90 days in an Orange County, Calif., jail in 1998 for a marijuana cultivation conviction and was arrested a year ago after Los Angeles police found heroin in a car he was driving. He was placed on probation but violated the terms and was ordered into a drug treatment program.”

So what happened? How could this guy be destined for stardom and yet fall so hard? He couldn’t live up to his dad’s expectations of him. He faltered in the face of the overwhelming pressures of living up to his father’s wishes.

And though his situation was extreme, we need to understand that our parents have expectations and desires for our lives. Most of them probably want you to experience the middle class suburbia life—a husband or wife, 2 kids, 2 car garage, shed for the riding lawn mower, a porch swing, etc. In other words, your parents want what they think is best for your life. They don’t wish harm on you. They equate a comfortable and successful life with the best thing for you.

Luke 9:57-62 contains some expectations, both from family and from Jesus:

As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.”
Jesus replied, “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.
He said to another man, “Follow me.” But the man replied, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.”
Jesus said to him, “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.”
Still another said, “I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say good-by to my family.”
Jesus replied, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.”


Jesus expects people to follow his leading regardless of their situation in life. But the people may not be ready. The second man had to bury his father. There is no indication that his father necessarily was dead. What he means is that he can’t leave and quit his job in the family business until the father does die. He is expected to stay home. The third man felt obligated to go back and explain things with his family. He was torn between Jesus’ calling and his families expectations, and as a result his path was wavering.

So here’s the big question—At what point does it become faithful to go away from your parents’ expectations? When should you tell your parents, “I love you, but I can’t live up to the life you have envisioned for me?”
Though your parents want what is best for you, their idea of “best” may be different than “best for the kingdom.” God may have other plans for you. Parents want us to contribute to society. We think that we accomplish this concept by being good citizens, voting, helping out the economy, having a nice family, etc. But God doesn’t want us just to contribute to society. God wants us to change it and improve it.

There once was a guy named Francis of Assisi. Francis was born in Italy into a family of moderate wealth and grew up in a comfortable lifestyle. He spent all the money he had. He enjoyed the romantic adventures of a young nobleman. He was kind and considerate and faithful to the church, but for the most part he pursued his own pleasure and thought little of the needs of others. He was living the life that was expected of him.
This lifestyle began to change through a long and odd series of events. For one thing, he was captured during a brief battle between the cities of Perugia and Assisi. While a prisoner he endured a long sickness and when he recovered he was a much more serious person. Soon after this, while on his way to participate in the wars of Southern Italy, he received a vision calling him to “serve the Master rather than the man
His first major ministry came after he received a vision which he understood to be calling him to a ministry of rebuilding churches. His first attempt was to take goods from his father’s warehouse and sell them to pay for the repairs of a local church. He also asked the priest if he could stay and live at the church. His father did not appreciate being robbed or his son’s new home. In response, he found Francis and beat him and chained him up, even though Francis was twenty-five years old at the time. Francis was released and returned to the church. His father came again, confronted him and told him to come home or renounce his inheritance. Francis decided that he would rather serve God than be wealthy, and he gave up all that he had from his father. He even took off the clothes he was wearing since even they had come from his father’s money. Fortunately one of the church workers present gave him something to wear.

Talk about dropping your nets. Here is Francis dropping a huge net—his parents expectations. A life of luxury. All just to serve. Will that be the life for all of us? No. But we should at least consider what God might be calling us to. There is a difficult tension of your parents wanting you to live a good life, but perhaps God calling you to something different. Understand that you are not bound by the way your parents have lived out their faiths. You may be called to live your faith a different way. God may be calling you to drop the net of your parent’s expectations so that you can follow Him unfettered and without looking back.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Unfettered Part 1



I started a new series last Wednesday in Youth Group called “Unfettered.” The goal is to subvert culture’s dictating who we must be by following the example of other faithful people. Then we can live unfettered by the world’s story prescribed for us, and follow Christ freely. This first lesson focuses on Jesus and His true calling for us.

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“Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty. I am the living bread that came down from heaven. If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever. This bread is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world. For my Father’s will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day.”

“As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. “Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will make you fishers of men.” At once they left their nets and followed him. Going on from there, he saw two other brothers, James son of Zebedee and his brother John. They were in a boat with their father Zebedee, preparing their nets. Jesus called them, and immediately they left the boat and their father and followed him.” Matthew 4:18-22

What if Jesus decided to change your story and replace it with a different one? In other words, if Jesus called you to drop your net (the future that you envision) and do something different, how would you respond? Would you immediately drop your nets like the disciples?

Jesus’ message seems so encouraging. Here we have someone promising us such great blessings. So when he calls us out of our boats to follow Him, it seems like a pretty good idea. It was for the apostles. It is not as though their future was all that exciting. They left a life of fishing for the chance to follow the Messiah around. We wonder why they so quickly dropped their nets. And the answer is obvious: following Jesus was a step up for many of the disciples. They were pretty well stuck in their lives. They would never be rabbis, scribes, Pharisees, or anyone important. So when Jesus comes to call them to something different, they readily dropped their nets. Perhaps this is the same reason few Pharisees responded to Jesus’ message—it was a step down for many of them.

Just as disciples were given a story, so are we—Jesus’ calling. For some it will be a relief. For others it will be very distressing. In our culture, we are told there is no other way out than buying into the story they are offering. You have to live a certain way, act a certain way, do certain things in order to succeed. But Jesus’ calling breaks the world’s mold of what is acceptable. His calling encourages us to live life unfettered by the world’s expectations. Yes, it will be uncomfortable if you take seriously the call of Christ. But he calls us to lay down our nets—some good, some bad. Some will find laying down their stories easy. Others will be very hesitant to leave the security in which they find themselves.

But it is not Jesus’ initial calling that is so difficult. It is the continued discipleship. Jesus’ promise of food and drink quickly changes to something very unappetizing:

“I tell you the truth, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day.”
On hearing it, many of his disciples said, “This is a hard teaching. Who can accept it?” From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him.

Basically Jesus is saying, “Unless you are willing to give up everything and suffer as I will suffer, don’t stay. You aren’t worthy. My food is my broken body. My drink is my spilled blood. My sustenance comes from suffering.” It is no wonder many left him after this. It is a hard teaching. It is a far cry from “Follow me and I will improve your life.” Yet the apostles stayed by His side, because they knew where the words of eternal life were.

The question is not, “Will you accept Christ’s story in addition to your current story?” The question is, “Will you give up the other story for Christ’s story? Will you drop your net? Will you drop your story?” For many of us, we are not in the position of the disciples. We are in the position of the Pharisees. The life he calls us to is not better by the world’s standards. You give up the things you like. You take on things you may vehemently dislike. Whoever comes to Jesus will never be hungry or thirsty because we will feast on Jesus’ body and blood—his very sufferings. Pursuing the Christian story promises many things, with suffering being near the top of the list.

Monday, September 12, 2005

Thank you for all of the responses to my last post. That entry easily had the most posts under it in the history of this blog. The response reminded me of a few things.

Theodicy (in my opinion) is the most difficult question for any faith to answer. We can try to explain away the trinity, the incarnation, and various other theological quandaries. But trying to reconcile a loving, all-powerful God with our experience of evil and hardship is extremely difficult, if not impossible at times.

But we are called to struggle nonetheless. And the responses show me that there are a variety of ways that we reconcile the question. Our struggles produce views that console, comfort, and encourage us. But others are bothered by the same views, and must work it out on their own.

Perhaps there is no “right” answer in determining how to combine God’s judgment, God’s grace, Nature’s power, humanity’s sinfulness, and a fallen world. Though it seems a mixture of all, each of us has different amounts of each in our explanations. And so it should be.

May God use our feeble attempts at grasping the unknowable to comfort those in dire need.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.”
2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Theodicy

I have been slow in getting a secondary response out regarding the Hurricane tragedy and its aftermath. The coverage has been difficult at times for me to watch. I feel so helpless, and so frustrated by the state of the world. I have been asked a couple of times various questions by people (teenagers especially) seeking to come to grips with theodicy (figuring out how the existence of a benevolent God can reconciled with the existence of evil).
One girl in the youth group said, “If everything happens for a reason, then why did God allow this?” I have heard various responses, the worst of which was, “Because he doesn’t want Mardi Gras to continue.”

And the more I grapple with that question, the more I realize no answer will suffice because the question is flawed. The question not just assumes that everything happens for a reason, but it is God’s reason that things happen. I totally disagree with such logic. The Bible is clear that humans must live with the consequences of sin. We inherit the sins of those who have gone before us and will deal with the consequences of our own sins. Everything does happen for a reason, but it isn’t God’s reason.

Let me lay out the reasons that such a tragedy might befall our nation. They all come under the heading of arrogance/pride/selfishness. For example, why is New Orleans under water? Because a levy broke. Why did a levy break? First of all, we as humans decided that we could harness nature, and reroute rushing rivers to where we wanted them to flow. And we accomplished this feat through a system of dams/levies that were built to withstand a fierce storm (category 3), never imagining that nature would have the audacity to bring anything stronger.

Then, when a stronger storm did come, we thought that we were safe in our finely constructed buildings. A little wind can’t destroy our technology can it? After all, we have overcome anything nature can throw at us. So we stay put, expecting this little nuisance to just blow over.

But it didn’t just blow over. Nature wreaked havoc. It snubbed its nose at our reinforced concrete. It laughed at our levies. And in the end, it reminded me who I am compared to the power of God:

“Who shut up the sea behind doors when it burst forth from the womb,
when I made the clouds its garment and wrapped it in thick darkness,
when I fixed limits for it and set its doors and bars in place,
when I said, ‘This far you may come and no farther; here is where your proud waves halt’?
Can you raise your voice to the clouds and cover yourself with a flood of water?
Do you send the lightning bolts on their way? Do they report to you, ‘Here we are’?
Who endowed the heart with wisdom or gave understanding to the mind?
Who has the wisdom to count the clouds? Who can tip over the water jars of the heavens
when the dust becomes hard and the clods of earth stick together?”

“I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted.
Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes.”


--Job

Thursday, September 01, 2005

From Bad to Worse

“Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?”

I’ll tell you why I am so disturbed. My heart is sad this morning. As I have watched the devastation along the Gulf Coast I have grown increasingly unsettled. The damage is massive. The casualties will be high. The cost is incalculable. And if that were the worst of the situation, that would be bad enough. But then I hear about the continually deteriorating situation in New Orleans:

Residents are looting stores, not for necessities, but for shoes, watches, and weapons.
During an evacuation from the Super Dome someone fired gunshots at rescue helicopters.
There is general lawlessness and residents walking around armed and angry.

I can’t even put words on the situation. The impact is being felt across the country. But the impact is not what I expected. I expected sadness, frustration, anger, even inspiration to help. But most of what I hear is worry about gas prices. I walked into youth group last night and all the talk went something like this:

“Oh my gosh! Have you seen how much gas is?”
“Yea. Most of the gas stations are out of gas and won’t get anymore in until next week.”
“Oh my gosh! What are we going to do without gas?”

What are you going to do? Who cares what you are going to do? You at least have a car to put gas into. You have a home to drive that car home to. You aren’t using your gas to try and find missing loved ones. I get so pissed at our selfishness. We dismiss this catastrophe with an, “Oh, it’s so terrible,” and then immediately put the focus back on ourselves. It is too much to even write about.

My prayer for this situation comes from the Psalms:

“Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.”