This is the second part that discusses dealing with pent up anger and frustration that arises from minsitry. Yesturday I was mistaken in the author. It is actually Ed Rowell who is a teaching pastor at The People's Church in Franklin, Tennessee.
Unresolved anger is a spiritual problem that won't get better without a spiritual solution.
Discover why I need to be busy all the time. When I overbook my life, I get stressed. When I get stressed, I get insomnia. When I get insomnia, I get cranky. "So why not just work fewer hours?" some uninformed person might ask. Because I have to, that's why. Why? Because most days I enjoy the work of ministry. Because my staff colleagues are counting on me to help lead our church toward a preferable future. Because there's a whole lost world depending on me to save them. And because there are voices from my past, telling me "You're lazy," or "You'll never amount to anything."
Anger is a byproduct of a life with skewed priorities. Jesus modeled for us a rhythm of periodically retreating from both people and process long enough to recharge. In Mark 6:31, Jesus said to his weary disciples, "Come with me by yourself to a quiet place and get some rest."
Practice what you preach about community. Give more than lip service to the necessity of community. Change happens when we allow others into our lives. We could whine all day about the difficulties of building trustworthy friendships with our parishioners. There are some people either in your church or in your community who are willing to like you in spite of your vocation. As hard as it may be to connect with others, we'll never get our anger under control alone. I can choose to seethe in solitude or to change in community.
Give up the occupation of people pleasing. A friend recently experienced in his ministry a rebirth of sorts. When I asked what had happened, he responded, "After a dozen years in ministry, I discovered it wasn't my job to make or keep people happy." Pursuing purpose instead of popularity allows me to keep focused in spite of criticism. If people don't like me, it makes me sad (after all, what's not to like?), but it no longer angers me. As long as my life is invested in pleasing God, as long as the ones who know me best love me most, I can deal with rejection from the masses.
Let go of unresolved hurts. Forgiveness is the harder road, and one that must be taken intentionally. Living our lives on cruise control will only take us down the Interstate of bitterness. I must consciously forgive even the slightest of slights if I am to maintain good emotional health.
Once I accepted the problem as my own, that put me in control to do something about it. As I enter the middle years of this race called ministry, I struggle to throw off some ugly souvenirs of anger I picked up along the way. I'm more committed than ever to finishing this race with my faith, character, and family intact. I refuse to allow anger to rob me of experiencing joy along the way. And I reject the notion that change is too hard, or that it's optional. With the help of my small group, my family, and the Holy Spirit who resides within me, I'm hopeful that I'll finish the race having set aside the anger that has hindered me thus far.
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